It's an Addiction - YouTube

You know subtext has become an addiction when you automatically find it, even in the layout and wording of a YouTube page. And I never slash real people, but after a Ladycops marathon (which lasted for all of 2 hours) I couldn't not see this.

[Full Size]

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61Nsur9-UkU


Yeah, take this as a warning kids. If you're not careful there will come a day when you simply cannot turn off the subtext detection and you will find it in places where you shouldn't be finding any. I am suddenly very afraid of going to my nephew's school play at the end of the year. Gods only know what I will find among baby Jesus, the sheep and angels with home-made halos.

The Balance 1x18 - (Justice League Unlimited)

@IMDb

Part of me doesn’t want to do this, because to me Wonder Woman has always been an almost asexual superhero. She doesn’t fit into the standards of human behaviour and is almost more of a representation of Mother Nature than humanity. However as the new and deliciously gay Batwoman is being published I decided to queer up some existing DC characters. This review will take a closer look at Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl in the Justice League Unlimited episode The Balance.

Introducing;

Wonder Woman/Diana

Hawkgirl/Shayera

The episode starts off with Wally (Flash) and Diana enjoying a canteen dinner only to be interrupted by Shayera who also was supposed to be having dinner with Wally. As soon as the two women see each other the sparks starts flying and Shayera immediate turns to leave, only to be intercepted by Wally and persuaded to stay. Wally is clearly playing the matchmaker under the disguise of being an incorrigible flirt. He pushes them together, wanting them to get over their past disagreements in order to become friends again. Sparks keep flying between the two women throughout the dinner, but they do stay.

Then we’re introduced to the danger of this week and due to an evil evil man (Felix Faust) having upset the natural order of things and opened up the gates to Tartarus all those with magical powers are currently suffering great torment. The Martian Manhunter acknowledges that, “The gates of Tartarus swings both ways” as he gives Diana a most penetrating gaze. It is now up to Wonder Woman to restore balance into the verse.

Taking the mission upon herself (after the encouragement of the Olympians) Diana sneaks into Shayera’s apartment intent on “borrowing” her mace which has the power to disrupt magic. Shayera catches her in the act and we get another sparkling encounter. The two bicker and their conversation ends on a gorgeously subtextual note as Hawkgirl states, “You want the mace, you get me too”. At which we are offered a most intense zoom in of Diana’s conflicted (as much as any character on this show can manage to look conflicted or show any kind of subtleties on their) face.

The two (metaphorically) suit up and get going. First stop is the Amazons and Hippolyta who are at the gate of Tartarus trying to keep the evil forces at bay. As Hippolyta sees Diana she verbally attacks her daughter for having broken her banishment from the land of the Amazons. Shayera can’t just stand by and take it, but automatically stands up to the queen of the Amazons speaking in Diana’s favour. Hippolyta changes her mind and finally gives Diana her blessing and help by endowing Wonder Woman’s armour and weaponry with their full powers. As Wonder Woman flies away Hippolyta holds Shira back and asks her to, “bring my daughter back to me”. Hawkgirl promises to do just that as she takes off after Diana.

Once in the fire pits of Tartarus the two once again starts bickering and disagree as to what the plan should be, and it’s not just the pits that are on fire as this little interlude takes place:

Wonder Woman: I don’t need you!
Hawkgirl: Yes you do…I can’t make this decision for you Diana, but however you want to play it I’ll back you up.

Showing that no matter the tension or the disagreements, Hawkgirl is fiercely loyal to Wonder Woman. And the matter of needing one another is in reference to their mission, but could also indicate a much larger picture. These two do need each other, even when there are sparks and bickering there is also an undeniable need.


After a minor encounter with Felix Faust the two are thrown out of Hades’ library which he has occupied. Wonder Woman lands heavily on the ground, but Hawkgirl is viciously thrown into it. Diana is the first one to get to her feet and rushes to Shayera’s side offering up some comfort and support through and outstretched hand, a hand that Shayera refuses to take. This scene is also followed by a gorgeous little subtext display.

Hawkgirl: The Princess doesn’t even sweat in the fire pits of Tartarus.
Wonder Woman: I do too sweat!
Hawkgirl: Please! You glow…I wouldn’t be surprised if you never had to-

Not only does Shayera study Diana enough to know she doesn’t sweat, but the fact that she describes her as glowing when she is engaged in physical activities is pure and unsaturated subtext. In short, Hawkgirl was totally checking out Wonder Woman.

As the final battle against evil has been won Wonder Woman approaches the unconscious Hawkgirl who slowly opens her eyes to an outstretched hand. This time Shayera accepts the offer and is pulled to her feet by Diana. Shayera keeps her eyes on their linked hands for a few seconds before pulling away and the following take place;

Hawkgirl: You’re all sweaty.
Wonder Woman: I told you.
Followed by intense eye-contact which is only interrupted as Hades makes himself known.


When Hades torments Diana by trying to make her question her paternity Shayera is there offering her support. Both physically and mentally. There is also some of that compulsory hand holding going on.



The episode then ends on potent potential as the following dialogue takes place;

Wonder Woman: What about us?
Hawkgirl: Like oil and vinegar. We go together, but we don’t mix.
They both fly off together into the horizon.

They might not be ready to put all their differences and past aside, but they do go together. And judging by Hawkgirl’s insecure body language (her arms across her chest, protecting her heart while enhancing the appearance of her bossom) there are issues to work on and miles to go, but there is no denying the compatibility.

The Balance.

Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

@IMDb

I’m taking a break from the subtext of romantic love and this time will take a look at a far more destructive kind of subtext. The following review contains major spoilers for the entire movie that I am discussing, so don’t read if it bothers you.

This is a short little note on an otherwise funny movie, Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. At first glance it is a harmless movie aimed at families, at second glance it is a somewhat disheartening look at where the queer fits into today’s society.

Sid the sloth was a most tragic metaphor/symbol for adoption and/or any couple/individual who cannot conceive the old fashioned way. The generally odd and socially frowned upon sloth takes it upon himself to care for three lost eggs after the male Mammoth makes him feel unwelcome as the Mammoths are having a baby. Wanting to find his own family the eggs represent a brilliant solution to his problems. Once he brings the unattended unborn babies with him to his friends he is immediately told off by the Mammoth male who makes a speech on how Sid does not have the right to those children or eggs. As the eggs hatch into dinosaurs they immediate form a bond with their new mother, Sid. However the Mammoth does not like the nature of the dinosaurs and once again forces Sid to “get rid” of them. At which point the birth-mother appears and takes both dinosaur babies and Sid with her to her own “land”. Despite the somewhat problematic start to their relationship Sid and the dinosaur mother actually end up showing affection towards each other as they continue to raise their children together. However his friends take it upon themselves to “save” him and bring him back to their own land. At the end of the movie Sid really does not appear to have a choice in the matter and teary-eyed has to say goodbye to his children, who clearly mirror his love and reluctance to leave, and join the rest of his friends back in their “own world”.

Sid is the most obvious example, but the rest of the gang are also representations of various “deviating” lifestyles that all come together in a pack governed by the Mammoth couple who work as the emotional and moral core of both their created family as well as the movie. It ends on a message that families are created, but they always centre around the heterosexual family. It is they who have to take the active decision to incorporate others into their “natural” family.

As the movie ended tears of laughter shimmered in my eyes and as they dried I couldn’t help wondering if the tears weren’t there for another reason than merriment. I was entertained by the movie, but at times I also am a victim of self-loathing.

The gays, dykes and random queers are allowed, they are even embraced, but only as long as they gravitate around the heterosexual couple and their moral compass. The Mammoths represent the norm, they represent the dominating powers. They absorb the various other individuals into their new family, but on their own terms. We are allowed, tolerate, but we must submit to and follow the standards of the heteronorm. We will get full rights and acceptance, but only when the Mammoths grants us them, or the day when the Mammoths are extinct.

I know I am being overly critical, but I am also tired of being so close, yet being so incredibly far.

The Phantom (1996)

@IMDb

The Phantom – The Metaphor That Walks

Before we begin let’s have a look at The Phantom himself. A man who dresses entirely in purple spandex, is incredibly particulate about his jewelry, wears heavy eye make-up and is very good with both children and animals. Suffice to say he is not your stereotypical representation of XY. Then to up the gay-ante he lives alone in a skull shaped caved together with his close confidante and manservant (I’m thinking that’s a synonym for glamorous gay loverboy), Guran. So turning this story on its gay edge really will not be a chore or a pain, in fact it basically jumps at you.

The Phantom – a lover and a metaphor
This is the story of The Phantom (Billy Zane; Titanic, Orlando) and his lover/partner Guran who for many years have enjoyed a beautiful relationship together in the relaxed Bengallan jungle. However the legacy of the Phantom is becoming more and more of an issue as this loving same-sex relationship is unable to produce the heir Kit Walker (aka the Phantom) is in dire need of to perpetuate the legend of the Ghost Who Walks. Kit’s subconscious is actually haunting him to such an degree that he has begun to see his late father berating him for his mistakes as well as urging him to reproduce. Harsh really, sometimes not even the death of our parents will stop them from nagging and condemning our lifestyles. At this point Diana Palmer, an old College friend of Kit’s shows up and a solution to appears to take form to Kit’s problem, but more on that later.


[Two men - One cave]

Kit and Guran really is a sweet couple that gives us several scenes of gorgeous subtext. It begins in their first scene together which is of the hurt/comfort variety. The Phantom has been stabbed and Guran is cleaning the wound, unaffected by the purple-clad man’s whining, but meanwhile showing tenderness and affection in his care. Their relationship continues on this tender note as Guran also shows concern as Kit is talking to himself (or the manifestation of his dead father).






[Every-day intimacy and affection]

Early on in the movie there is also a scene in which the Phantom has just rescued Diana from her kidnappers and is bringing the Captain of the Jungle Patrol up to speed. The Captain is about to lit a match and start smoking his pipe, but is quickly interrupted by Guran who with a strained smile informs him that smoking is not allowed in the Skull Cave. After which the Phantom and Guran share a moment of lingering eye-contact and Guran gives a slightly apologetic smile that is return with an affectionate one from Kit. Clearly Guran have no problems setting the rules of the cave and neither does Kit. You are allowed to go awww.


[Guran sets the rules]

In addition to his relationship with Guran, the Phantom also works as a metaphor for the US military policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell”. The Captain of the Jungle Patrol is very much aware of the Phantom and his contribution to upholding the laws of the district, yet will not acknowledge the man’s presence officially. Something that is embodied in a scene where the Phantom gets into the Captain’s house through one of the windows and the two have a small business chat. Once it is time for the Phantom to leave he first moves towards the door only to be stopped by the Captain who tells him he better leave the same way he came, “he was having enough troubles pretending he didn’t exist as it were”. So it is okay for the purple hero to risk his life, but the military will not officially acknowledge him or his “lifestyle”. Incredibly topical (though just as hidden) in a movie premiering in 1996.

Diana Palmer
However it is not only Kit and Guran who likes to engage in some homosexual activities, Diana Palmer (Kristy Swanson; Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 3way) sets the subtle gaydar a-pinging right from the start by showing us a sharp contrast to the accepted XX norm (by 1930s standards at least). She makes an entrance by returning from an adventure in the Yukon, with a brash attitude she jumps out of her own car and breezes into her uncle’s party, dressed in a cocky khaki suit (trousers and tie included) and a stylish beret. The first thing she is met by is her mother who insists Jimmy Wells will be thrilled to see Diana again, at which Diana gives her uncle a look of defeat only to turn her back and walk away. Jimmy is indeed pleased to see her and plants a kiss on her lips, a kiss she frowns off and shows more interest in her baloney sandwich (I think she must be a meat-er)). As the evening then progresses she is invited to her uncle’s little smoke/drink gathering in his library, where she alongside her uncle and two other big wigs (obviously older white men) discuss the problem of Xander Drax. This says a lot about her, but also her relationship to her uncle, a man who clearly accepts her for who she is and has no problem assimilating her into the “boys club”.


[Will she ever understand it's not a phase?]



Sala – and dealing with repressed emotions
As Diana takes a trip to the Bengalla jungle to research the Singh Brotherhood her plane is captured by a gang of all-female pilots lead by Sala (Catherine Zeta-Jones; Ocean's Twelve, The Mask of Zorro) who was deployed to kidnap her. The first meeting of the two women sends sparks flying. Sala is by nature an overtly sexual being and oozes sexuality all over the place. Diana shows a clear interest in the female pilot and curiosity makes her bold enough to pull off Sala’s helmet/goggles to get a better look at the brunette. Sala end up knocking Diana out and the scene that follows might not be subtext in its more traditional form, but it is nevertheless much entertainment to be had in watching Diana draped over Sala’s shoulders like a sack of potatoes as the villain dumps her at their “headquarter”.




[Love at first sight?]




The tension between the two continues and Sala goes on to comment, “Pretty, in a spoiled rich kid kinda way” and once Diana gives them lip adds with a content smile, “Feisty too”. Yet at this point it appears as if Diana is having more of an interest in Sala (judging by the interested looks of longing she keeps sending her way) than the other way around. Despite being the leader of an all female gang of pilot-criminals Sala doesn’t appear to quite “get” the same-sex attraction. Clearly she is feeling some of it towards Diana, but instead of acknowledging and accepting her feelings she takes out her insecurities and self-loathing through her promiscuous image and criminal behaviour. She’s angry at the world and herself for not accepting and is trying to get back at both.

[Tension - wii haz it]





It is first as Sala meets Diana that she begins to realize there are other possibilities. The one scene that stands out is during the latter half of the movie Sala taunts Diana by telling her Kit is probably long dead. At which Diana snaps and asks her;

Diana: Why are you so mean? Don’t you care about anything?
Sala: Like what?
Diana: You figure it out.
Diana gives her an intense look before looking away. Sala’s smile of insolence quickly fades and she looks almost haunted by Diana’s words.



Once in the Singh Brotherhood’s nest Diana is attacked by one of the pirates who first give Sala a warning/taunting look before touching Diana’s face and proclaiming, “This one’s mine”. Sala loses it and attacks him with a well-placed knee to the groin. The scene then continues and ends on Sala and Diana sharing a private moment where Sala appears to give her a butt slap and tells her, “I think us girls should stay together”. Diana looks a little shocked, but gladly agrees. It appears as if Diana truly got to her, reminded her of the possibilities available once you stop running away from your own feelings. For the rest of the film Sala is incredibly protective of Diana and tries to defend her whenever possible. Also as the twosome are about to get launched out of the Singh nest in a torpedo tube Sala protectively takes a firm hold of Diana’s hips as the enter the cramped area of the tube. Incredibly cute.







Kit and Diana – BFFs sharing more than memories?
Right from the first scene the two have together we are made aware that the Phantom aka Kit and Diana have a past. However it is not until the plot of the movie is transferred back to New York City that the extent of the relation is discovered, Kit and Diana were apparently very close friends during College, before Kit had to return to Bengalla to take up his father’s spandex. Kit is thrilled to see her again, but Diana is still feeling betrayed by his sudden unexplained disappearance and is reluctant to let him back into her life. We are never fully made aware of the true nature of their College friendship, but it does appear as if the two were BFFs who quite possibly experimented in heterosexual behaviour with one another.

From the moment Kit saw Diana again it appeared as if his thought process was kicked into gear, part of him genuinely happy to see an old friend, the other part seeing a solution to his and Guran’s child problem. What better way than to create a child together with your lesbian BFF.

However there is a small amount of jealousy involved and every time that Diana and Kit get a little too close Guran is there to make sure no one steps over the line as old memories flare. Fortunately they are both too secure in their own current sexualities for that to ever happen, the only affection they share is a chaste kiss at the end of the movie as Diana is about to leave Kit and the jungle behind and go off with Sala. Previous to this scene Kit had also explained to her about the intricacies of the Phantomic legacy and how he needed a son to continue on his work. Diana clearly understood his hidden meaning and does show an interest in Kit’s subtle suggestion of starting a rainbow family. However she is not nearly ready to take such a huge step, especially not as she has just entered a new relationship with the provocative and somewhat unpredictable Sala.


[A cautious Guran]

The Plot
On a larger scale this is a story of the Singh Brotherhood and Xander Drax (Treat Williams; Hair) who are representing the uglier sides of heteronormativity, while preaching hatred and intolerance. The three skulls of Tuganda (that the movie is all about) representing the power of information and indirectly media. It’s not a coincidence that Drax wants to buy the leading New York newspaper from Diana’s uncle, neither is the torture of the “tattling” librarian. The librarian in this case being a metaphor for gays in media, as Drax pokes his eyes out what he does is a subtle reference to crippling queer visibility through “passive” censorship. It also shows that he is threatened by this alternative way of life, by the “erotic minorities”.

To further go with this oppression angle we have the scene at the Museum of History where as two of the skulls come together radiate one blue and one red ray that together show the location of the third skull. The colours in this case, red and blue are accepted indicators of female and male and the coming together of the two is one big metaphor for heterosexuality. As Xander is wielding the power of the skulls he worships their potential and proclaims that this is a dawn of a new era aka the destruction of “abnormalities”. It’s no wonder Diana and Kit look at each other in horror, this man represents a most deadly threat towards their identities and the lives they are leading.






The climax off the movie then takes place in the Singh Brotherhood’s secret nest which is blown to smithereens as the Phantom successfully vanquishes Drax by turning the tables on him and using the power of the skulls for his own benefit - it’s a fun message from the subtexter’s point of view. It’s also a gay crusade where tolerance and love wins out. Hatred and the brotherhood of intolerance is dead, long live liberty and love.

The Summary
The movie tells the story of same-sex love and relationships. It touches on the intolerance of heteronormativity as well as dealing with some of the problems faced by homosexuals such as creating a family and dealing with your own family’s reaction to your way of life. At the same time it is a beautiful saga where love does win out and where the grotesque aspects of normality is destroyed by using “their” own tools against “them” (and yes I am biased cause I love doing it). Meanwhile it briefly touches upon the matter of visibility and uses the Phantom as a metaphor for “don’t ask, don’t tell”. But ultimately it sends a message that fighting for what you believe in is worth it, and the only way for the GLBT community to be strong is to take a stand side by side.

If for no other reason the movie is recommended for its final scene where we see Diana and Sala take off together and fly into the horizon. How many movies have you watched where the heroine leaves the hero for the bad girl at the end?! It’s worth a watch, and I’m not just saying that because the Phantom is one of my favourite comic-book heroes.





[Two women - One plane]


[In The Sun - but actually in a gay gay way]

To sum it up; “this is so gay” – old jungle saying.

Bride Wars (2009)

@IMDb

Yes, I sat through all of it, Kate Hudson works wonders for my concentration. It is a silly movie, stupid even, but it deserves some proper femslashing. It’s a movie about two BFFs who are about the get married, but a mix-up in planning causes them to be pitted against each other in one huge bitch-fest.

It is a movie about the fulfilling of the heterosexual norm of marriage and children, but sometimes during the run of the movie that is incredibly easy to forget. First of all the two leads have great chemistry together and that works a long way on its own. Then there are a number of scenes that taken out of context look a lot more like one big anti-prop 8 campaign than anything else.

Not to mention that the outline of the story would make a great Uber. On the one hand you have the aggressive corporate lawyer with a need to control and on the other hand the meek middle school teacher with a need to please. Despite their differences they share an incredible strong connection and mean everything to each other. All the story needs is an alternative alternative ending.

There are too many meaningful looks and lingering touches for me to list them all, but some of the scenes worth mentioning are the following:

• The opening where the two play bride (a young Liv) and groom (a young Emma), and marry each other.
• The better-off Liv buying clothes (read spoiling) Emma for no real reason other than she wants to.
• The mentioning of the two having lived together.
• Emma chasing Liv through her apartment and tackling her to the couch where she ends up sitting on top of the blonde. After which they pull apart and there’s some panting involved.
• The wedding planning montage which is completely devoid of all male and only shows the two planning a wedding together.
• The dance-off where the two are handcuffed to each other at the hen party.
• Emma falling apart because of the feud with Liv and confesses, “How I feel?..I’m so confused”.
• Liv receiving a blessing from Emma’s dad at the day of her wedding and as he walks away softly whispering, “He’s such a good man…Emma is so much like him”.
• The longing looks of sadness they give each other before they head off to their separate weddings.
• Emma running down the aisle and attacking Liv. The two end up rolling around on the floor fighting to be on top. Spent they collapse on the floor next to each other.
• Emma breaking up with her man and afterwards take Liv down the aisle.

Anyhow, words only say so much so rather than to waste more of them I decided to retell the movie in screencaps. Here you go, Bride Wars the Alternative Story;





























Like I said, looks a lot like an anti-prop H8 campaign, don't you think?

Conclusion
The entire movie is about these two women and their relationship. Everything comes back to that one true relationship that goes beyond any other and the loss of that relationship that causes them both to fall apart completely.

The movie was pointless, but squint a little and put heterosexuality on hold and suddenly it's a tribute to same-sex marriages. From a subtext POV it is definitely recommended, but that's the only POV it is recommended from.

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005)

@IMDb

This is the sequel to a very classical Sandra Bullock rom-com in which she stars as the rough FBI Agent Gracie Hart who gets to go undercover as a beauty pageant contestant. In the meanwhile the tomboy Agent learns to be more of a girl, befriends another of the contestants and falls in love with her male partner. Yeah, like I said the first one was pretty straightforward in every way.

As this film begins everything is twisted just a little bit and we get to see something classical, but in a very new format.

After a failed mission because of her newfound fame and a devastatingly cold break-up with her boyfriend it is time for a new start for Gracie Hart. That new start comes in the form of an embracing of her femininity as she dons the position of a public representative of the FBI. In the process she acquires a bodyguard in the hostile and ill-tempered loner Sam Fuller. Together the two will then have to solve the kidnapping of Gracie’s best friend and the current Miss United States. And this is where it gets interesting.

Gracie Hart & Sam Fuller

As the movie begins one of Hart’s colleagues tease her about her relationship with another agent (the male partner from the first movie), and he makes comments about how the two are “friends and coworkers, friendly coworkers” as well as mentioning how sweet it is to see “two agents in love”. This is a very interesting start put into the context of the rest of the story, it draws our attention to the friends and coworkers aspect which in turned was transformed into love. An aspect that is worth keeping in mind as the story unfolds.

Only a few minutes into the movie Hart’s boyfriend dumps her over the phone. A crushed Hart tries to understand why, and in a voice breaking with insecurity asks him if it was the sex. Something that clearly indicates that this was quite possibly one of her own insecurities and doubts in their relationship. Perhaps it wasn’t living up to her expectations, perhaps she felt she couldn’t live up to the expectations. Either way the mere mentioning of their sexual interactions in relation to their break-up is enough of a seed of hetero-doubt. The fact that she briefly after this break-up and self-examination decides to take her life in a new direction, an act that sows the seed. Then some highly nourishing fertilizer is added to the seed as she meets with her new style consultant, an obviously gay and flamboyant man who doesn’t beat around the bush, but comes out and asks her, “Are you open to new experiences?” - Enter Sam Fuller.

From Gracie and Sam’s very first meeting the two hit it off, literally. Sam walks straight into Gracie without as much as an apology or look back. Gracie whose nerves are fried already because of her bad break-up immediately takes offence and verbally goes after Sam. The two orally battle each other and a physical fight is only prevented by the agents around them. The beginning of a beautiful relationship.

The movie then skips 10 months into the future, months during which Fuller and Hart have been working closely together. We get to see that the animosity and tension is still very much intact. Hart condescends Fuller, and Fuller appears to be ready to kick her arse at the blink of an eye. Fuller finally gets enough and walks away from her assignment at Hart’s side. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, the fates would have none of it and as Gracie’s best friend Cheryl is kidnapped Fuller and Hart are once again forced to work together. Their FBI chief who apparently thinks “the two have a bond” assigns Fuller as Hart’s bodyguard as they head out to Vegas to work on the kidnapping case.
Neither of the two agents are too pleased about the turn of events and are once again up in each other’s faces at the airport, but despite the tension they both make their way to Vegas. Once there and installed at the hotel Sam takes a tour of Gracie’s suit only to exclaim, “You can fit my entire room in your steam shower”. At which Hart playfully with an almost flirtatious tone replies, “Feel free to move in there”. Later on in the same scene Gracie barely holds it together as she sees her best friend tied up and forced to deliver a ransom message. For the first time in the entire movie Sam’s eyes soften and her voice becomes gentle as she urges Gracie to relax and focus on her job. We are shown that beneath that façade of tension and conflict there is something more, something playful and something gentle.

Despite Fuller’s advice Hart single-handedly throws herself into the case and without reporting to anyone goes off chasing leads. As she returns she is met by a clearly angry and upset Sam who starts digging into her for leaving without telling her. This argument culminates in an incredibly hot and dysfunctional bathroom scene (aren’t they all!?). Alone in the bathroom the two go at each other, verbally sparing and being in each other’s face until Sam actually hits Gracie. The two get into a physical altercation that only offers a temporary release to a constantly building tension.

Body language when it's smokin' hot

After an embarrassing interlude of Hart attacking a celebrity the two are dismissed and about to be sent back to NY. However at the airport Gracie gets another lead and direction to take the case in and ends up begging Fuller to stay on with her. Originally Fuller was completely content to go back home, but as Gracie pleads with her, her resolve crumbles and she gives in. Sam might constantly be in Gracie’s face, but when those big brown eyes beg her, there’s nothing to do but to fold. Fuller might have anger management issues, but she’s still whipped.

The begging scene is followed by a moment of almost tranquil domesticity and intimacy. Gracie and Sam end up spending the night on a sofa and slowly open up to each other. The darkness makes masks of stoicism pointless and the two share childhood memories and tales of their deceased parents. They both reveal that they’ve read up on each other, and Sam even says she’s read Gracie’s book. And on the dubious content of the ghostwritten “memoires” Sam stated that she “liked the pictures though”. A tranquil moment of intimacy in a comedic action-fest, it stands out.

The case-solving continues and as the pairing is getting yet another break while they’re working undercover at a retirement home Gracie in a moment of excitement wraps her hand around Sam’s arm and pulls her closer. In itself it is merely a nice moment of touching, however only minutes later one of the local Vegas agents, who is helping the duo, finds his fiancée giving another man the exact same arm-touching. In his case it sparks his suspicions about the pair and it is also revealed that the two touchers were in fact involved in an affair. Something that then adds importance to Gracie and Sam’s previously innocent touch.

This is another moment of comedy, but it has an underlying message of *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*. As the duo are threatening a man to make him help them Fuller tells him to, “Be a man!”. At which Gracie retorts, “Yeah, like Fuller”. It’s very tongue in cheek and silly, but it shows an awareness of how butch the portrayal of Fuller is and also making us aware that it’s not a coincidence, but intentionally.

Despite their best intentions of helping out on the case they are shot down by the SAC in charge who ends up personally humiliating and belittling Hart. Something that doesn’t sit right with Fuller who is immediately on her toes defending her partner. Unfortunately they are dismissed and this time it is up to Sam to convince Gracie to stay. After having found yet another lead Sam taunts Gracie until the two of them actually get into a physical fight. The two rumble at the airport and in-between arm-twisting and chokeholds Sam manages to convince Gracie not to give up. Coming to a truce the two pull away and decided to create a diversion and get back out there to solve the case. As they are forming a plan Sam reaches over and straightens up the fake boobs that were part of the disguise Hart had been wearing at the retirement home. I’ve got no comment really, so I’ll just write it again; Sam takes it upon herself to straighten up Gracie’s dangling fake boobs. Yeah, let’s leave it at that.

The final scene of the movie was what cemented my need to go back and do one of these analysis the first time I saw it. It plays exactly like a male/female love-story would and it just feels as if the role of Sam Fuller was originally written for a man, but instead of changing anything (other than scrapping the final kiss) they went with a woman. I like it, I like it a lot.

After having rescued her best friend from a watery death and gotten some just friends time with her, Gracie seeks out a lone Sam. The two tentatively make sure the other is alright and Gracie thanks Sam for having saved her as she got stuck underwater during the climax of the movie.

Gracie: Thanks for coming back for me.
Sam: It’s not like I love you –or anything.
G: I know.
S: I was just doing my job.
G: I know.

They give each other a lingering look while Gracie gives a Sam a faint smile.

S: But I gotta admit, that when you were saying that stuff back there about not having any friends…I know what you mean by that.
G: You got a friend…Yeah. *pauses* Agent Johnson over in Mail Fraud, I think he likes you.
Gracie starts snorting and laughing like crazy and Sam joins her.
G: But you know if that doesn’t work out, then…you’ve always got-*she points at herself*

The two end up in a big hug.


On the surface they speak of friends, but the tension and looks are simply a little too intense and a little too lingering for me to be able to completely dismiss it as BFFs. No this feels like the "friends and coworkers, friendly coworkers" from the opening scene, and from that there's only a very small step to "two agents in love".

The movie then ends on Gracie and Sam being teamed up as constant partners. That’s what we call a metaphor and a beginning.

As if the relationship between Gracie and Sam was not enough, the entire movie is filled with events, lines and actions catering to a queer audience. One of the minor characters, Joel the style consultant is portrayed as a stereotypically gay man with a sense of self-deprecation but without the mocking that is so common. Then there is also a substantial and important part of the movie that takes place on a drag club where the agents have to mingle with both patrons and performers. The movie doesn't preach, condemn or mock, simply uses the club as its setting. And as if that wasn’t enough Gracie actually jumps a woman and while straddling her starts poking at her boobs. The straddled woman just so happens to be Dolly Parton who gets to deliver the following line which we've all been wanting to ask Sandra Bullock (in our dreams), “Why are you on top of me?”.

Like I said, it’s a gay romp with drag queens, Vegas glam, subtexty tension with innuendos and physical interactions as well as beautiful women wearing suits and masculine shoes while waving guns.

If you're looking to read some subtext, this is definitely the movie for you.

Basic Elements of Subtext

Basic Elements of Subtext
- Or Lesbian Subtextual Archetypical Behaviour


Disclaimer: This following post concerns lesbian subtext. The clips included are taken out of context to highlight how easy and at times rewarding it is to pump heteronormative culture full of subtle references to queer characters and life-style. I in no way mean to proclaim this interpretation as an absolute truth, it is simply an alternative way of enjoying a culture which has very little regard to what you as an individual would find relatable. It’s like that old saying; if Mohammed won’t come to the mountain, the lesbian will turn to subtext.


In order to help facilitate this little crash-course in subtext, I have taken liberties with these two characters.
Sabrina Duncan

& Kelly Garrett


They can be found on a campy show from the 70s called "Charlie's Angels", which truly is a Mecca for anyone interested in either subtext and/or the evolution of gender roles.

1.) Read the text.
2.) Watch the clip.
3.) Go out into the world and apply on other shows.

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• The Difference - ”I’m not like other girls.”
The character expresses a concern or simply states their difference from the surrounding (heterosexual) norm. This can take on two different forms. Either the character is aware of the reason behind their difference, in which case bitterness or a sense of hopelessness often can be found in their statement (either through facial expression, body language or tone). The other option is the oblivious nature, where the character hasn’t quite gotten to grips with their feelings and emotions, yet they do know there’s something not quite “right” about them.

This following clip would be of the second oblivious nature. She is uncertain as to why something that should be so right, feels so lacking.

Something not quite right

• Jealousy.
This is one of the most rudimentary aspects of subtext, and it is also one of the most commonly used and found. One of the characters up for subtextual interpretation openly display an illogical or over-emphasized amount of jealousy in regards to the other character in the subtextual pairing. As soon as a third party enters the picture and hovers about as a potential love interest the jealous party will quite simply act—jealous.

Note how jealousy is displayed through disbelief followed by anger and warning. Up until the moment all is reveled to be a ploy. This clip however is somewhat atypical in the nature that it appears to present an actual couple rather than simple subtextual tension and potential.

Sweet Sweet Subtext

• Flirting.
This one is very straightforward in a subtle way. Queer life is not open, it’s always hidden and subtlety has actually been a must for physical survival. Therefore you won’t be seeing the explicit pick-up lines. Instead you will have to look for a tone, a slight teasing with a touch of something not quite identifiable. Also there will be knowing smiles and a lot of eye-contact (read eye-shagging; see below for definition). You have to find a way of flirting without making anyone, other than the person you are flirting with, aware.

Obvious flirting

• Lack of Private Sphere & Unnecessary Touching.
This is one of my personal favourites (probably because I’ve got issues with gratuitous body contact). Some characters appears to lack a sense of physical propriety, they are simply too close physically. When they stand, they stand a little too close, often touching. They are more often than not up in each other’s faces, and there will be a lot of unnecessary and pointless touching. Touching for no other reason than a need to feel the other character. It is difficult to fully explain, but when you watch the subtextual couple and you see them next to each other, they are not two people standing , they interact; on screen and in each other’s presence, they somehow become one entity.

Unnecessary touching

Also note the play on language in the second section of this clip.

Interactive sharing of space

• Ambiguous Lines and/or Sexual Innuendos.
Each community has their own lingo and way of using language. A sentence that to one person has one meaning, most likely will take on an entirely different meaning by someone from an outside community. Furthermore sexual innuendos are strangely easy to find in most any dialogue, though they in themselves might not have been intended as such. In some cases the sexual innuendos and ambiguous lines are intended, Xena: Warrior Princess is an excellent example of that. Other times the fun only appears when you apply your own language rules and lingo on the characters and interpret their dialogue from your own perspective. This is also a case of context collapse, where the words and wordings spark associations unrelated to the actual context of the scene and/or lines. It is a matter of cutting & pasting and does require a lot of effort from you. But if you put in that element of extra thinking, it is most rewarding.

In this first scene take note of the actual words used, and for those familiar with queer life the associations will most likely cause an unintentional hilarious alternative interpretation.

Straight into the closet

This second clip is of the more ambiguous nature, where the dialogue and the way in which it is presented would fit quite well into a subtextual reading. The characters share a joke/secret which they do not share with the casual viewer, but only those willing to use their own frame of reference to create meaning out of it.

Euphemisms and most interesting acting

• Hurt/Comfort.
It’s a simple concept really. Whenever we are hurt we need comfort. Whenever someone we love is hurt we want to comfort them. Fear and pain often blurs the lines of otherwise accepted behaviour and we more often than not forget to censor our emotions and feelings. That makes hurt/comfort ideal to use when dissecting relationships of a subtextual nature. The blurring of the lines breeds emotion and is very potent source of fanfic inspiration. It will not only result in a lot of intense emotion, but will also often lead to a lot of reassuring (both themselves and the other character) through a lot of touching.

Proper hardcore hurt-comfort

• Eye-shags.
Some people might call it eye-contact, in the subber world it’s eye-shagging. Moments of lingering and a little too intense eye-contact. In cases of severe subtext dearth even simple glances and exchanges of eye-contact will be referred to as shagging, but in theory it does refer to something a little more substantial (time wise).

The look of...

• References to Joint Identity and/or Life.
Not as common and a lot more difficult to spot. However there are cases when the pairing, or one of its members takes it upon themselves to speak for the other part. The lesbian urge to merge in very subtle and throw away lines, yet it means a lot if you are devoted to the pairing and actively read subtext. The more subtle version of this is the clothes swapping, one moment we see one of them wearing something that the next scene (or episode) ends up on the other character.

urge and merge

Variable and personal preference;

• Chemistry.
This builds on all of the above. There is a sense of familiarity between the two characters, something that goes above and beyond the rest of the cast. Either by a relaxed and seemingly comfortable repertoire, or it could also manifest through unexplained tension. However my personal preference is the familiarity. Most of the time it is a result of off-screen friendships. Because no matter how good an actor you are, true affection will always feel fresher and sharper than acted. And so if two actors share a personal bond, that will almost always trump all the faked ones on-screen and the real-life chemistry will shine through and come across most clearly. It doesn’t matter if the bond is a simple friendship one, because on-screen that will feel more real than all acted relationships. Chemistry is chemistry. Granted many people do slash female pairings without this feeling of familiarity or tension, but personally I need this element to be able to truly enjoy.

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And now that you're aware of all the steps on the LS ladder. See how many of them you find in this clip;

Such a couple

Are there any vital elements of subtext I have forgotten? If so please leave a comment and lets discuss.